property rights in the kingdom of God
a word from the Lord, an answered prayer, and a shift in wmw moving forward
Just this week, I was flipping through my last completed journal and a paragraph of all capital letters caught my attention.
It was February 20, 2024.
I was journaling the voice of the Lord, in faith, for my husband.
For context. Blake was in a painful waiting season with the Army. The future was (and still is) so unknown, and we had just left our first church in faith that God had something more aligned with our hearts. We were lonely and longing for deep, spiritual connection with a church body.
On this day, I was pouring out my heart to the Lord with words, feeling deeply the tension of our season and the weight of all the not-yets, maybes, and I don’t knows.
I asked the Lord, “Father, what is your portion for us? We can’t see it right now.” and I put pen to page as I tuned into his gentle voice speaking into the quiet of my mind:
I am for you, beloved. I am for Blake. Deeply.
I move the pieces of life around specifically because I love him. Blessing him is always on my heart. I am making space. The more Blake lays down, the more space I will make. I want to show him how much I love him. He doesn’t fully know yet.
An open space may look barren, but you can’t see the millions of seeds planted below the surface.
Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened.
As I read these words from February, my heart melted. I immediately recognized a beautiful answered prayer!
Under a year ago, our life was an open space. Both Blake and I had laid down so much, and there was still more to go. For many months we continued to surrender more and more of our lives to the Lord. We felt the desolation and emptiness of holding onto nothing and seeing nothing on the horizon.
Open spaces appear barren, and they most definitely can feel hopeless. But the Lord wanted us to know that he was working in the secret place, in the millions of seeds hidden below the surface. At the time, we couldn’t see it. We could only believe that, one day, there would be life in our barren land.
As I reflect on this picture from the Father, I recognize the desire in my own heart to control the landscape of my life.
If my life is land, or property, I want to be the sole owner.
I want to protect what is “mine” and plant what serves me. In my flesh, I don’t want to see the Lord bulldoze my hopes and dreams to make space for other, unknown things.
What if I don’t like what God chooses to grow? What if his plans aren’t as good as I hope?
When I lay down the right to control my land and I surrender it to the loving-care of the Father, it is no longer my responsibility to work goodness in my life.
It is his.
He is the Father of all goodness and all his works are good. Forever.
So even when the Father clears my land and lays it totally bare, I can know that he is good. Even when I can’t see any hope on the horizon or signs of life, I can know that he is working. He is in control. It is his responsibility and his delight to make something beautiful of my life. And he will do it. It will be more beautiful than anything I could ever have done on my own.
beautiful, budding life in the landscape of my life!
What is the answered prayer, you may ask?
As many of you know, I have been on the job hunt.
These last few months have been a painful and imperfect laying down of my land, in this case, my right to work a job I love. The heart work of surrendering that land to Jesus took time and effort. I surrendered…
The land I wanted to protect for my professional future.
The plants I wanted to grow for my financial stability.
The fruit I wanted to see for my creative life.
The approval I wanted to feel for having a successful career.
All of it was laid before the Lord, the true and better owner of the landscape of my life. And God cleared it. My land was barren and it was painful to look out and see no evidence of opportunity on the horizon.
But I could not see the millions of seeds the Father was planting below the surface.
God was eager to show me how much he loves me. And in my willingness to lay everything down, he was all the more willing to pour out his heart.
In the last month, I have noticed plant after plant sprouting forth in the land of my life, each an answered prayer to the waiting season Blake and I have been enduring since February.
He has given us a church body, spirit-filled relationships, discipleship connections, kindred friendships, breakthrough from sin, unity in marriage, and, for me, three (yup, three!!) job opportunities that not only provide for my household needs, but also align with my interests!
Praise the Lord.
God is the owner of my land and the one who brings forth beautiful growth in his timing. I could never have hoped to see such beauty if my own fallible heart had continued to control my outcomes.
God is good in the waiting and in the barren season. He is working beneath the soil, in the secret place of our hearts, so that we might know his love as we lay down all for him.
changes moving forward!
With all this new life, there is so much more to steward. My hands have grown full of wonderful things and I need to shift some rhythms around..
I feel like the Lord has asked me to slow down with Words my Wings. Moving forward, I will only be sharing a letter twice a month rather than weekly.
I hope to return to a weekly schedule one day, but for now, this is just one way I am laying down my land to the Lord.
He has given me wonderful work and beautiful people to steward, you guys are a part of that 🥹 I am so grateful for your support and encouragement on this writing journey! I so love being here and sharing the heart of God with you! It is the most precious gift to me.
And if you, too, are familiar with the painful effects of a barren landscape, take hope. The Father is always looking to lavish his love on you. There is still more of him to be experienced.
Live from faith, not from sight, and one day you will see beautiful, budding life breaking through the fallow ground.
With lots of love and joy in the Father 💛
ma